Lucky, Or Not?
So Candide, let me get this straight. You had a great life, until you kissed Lady Cunegonde. Then, the Baron kicked you out of his house. You were hungry, and luckily met two men who gave you food. But the men made you join the battle with the Bulgars. Luckily, you managed to escape. Then, you met a beggar who turned out to be Dr. Pangloss. He told you Cunegonde was dead. Then, there was an earthquake, and you and Pangloss were arrested. Pangloss was hanged, but luckily, they didn't kill you. They just tortured you to death (almost). Luckily, an old lady found you and gave you food and shelter. You were so lucky, that you found Lady Cunegonde. Then, you killed a man but luckily escaped with the old lady and Cunegonde. You arrived to Buenos Aires where a noble man fell in love with Cunegonde. Then, you had to escape because you had killed that man. Luckily, you found Cunegonde's brother. Then, you killed him! Luckily, you managed to escape. Trying to be nice, you killed two monkeys and saved two girls. But it turned out they were the girls' lovers and you and Cacambo were caught by Oreillons. They wanted to eat you two, because you were Jesuits. But it turns out that luckily, you were not Jesuits so you weren't killed.

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