Fear Of Time

The reason why we fear time, is because with it, comes change. We're scared of forgetting past memories and events. We're afraid they might happen again, or afraid they might never come back. O'Hare's wife, Mary, tells our protagonist: "You were just babies in the war-like the ones upstairs!.. 'But you're not going to write it that way, are you... You'll pretend you were men instead of babies, and you'll be played in the movies by Frank Sinatra

and John Wayne or some of those other glamorous, war-loving, dirty old men. And war will look just wonderful, so we'll have a lot more of them". (Slaughter House Five) In this case, Mary is afraid the past will be disturbed. No wonder the main character can't finish his book. As time passes, not only do his memories fade, his way of looking at things changes. It's not the same to live something at one age, and to write about it in another.

The past is easy to fear. Many fear death solely because they know they'll become part of the past, and in a few years, will be forgotten. Others, like me, fear what happens to the protagonist. With age, he starts forgetting important people and events in his life: "I have become an old fart with his memories and his Pall Malls, with his sons full grown". (Slaughter House Five) Forgetting the past implies you never lived it.

The problem with the present is knowing when it starts and when it ends. Sometimes, we think the past is the present, and get caught up in things that already happened. It can also go the other way around. Our future may become our present, making us live for the unreachable. The protagonist has a clear problem with living in the present. He brings up the Dresden war in several occasions. He also mentions a couple of things twice. At the beginning of chapter 1, he says, "One guy

I knew really was shot in Dresden for taking a teapot that wasn't his." (Slaughter House Five) Later on, he mentions: "... And then this one American foot soldier is arrested in the ruins for taking a teapot." (Slaughter House Five) Does the character emphasize on these particular things for any reason? Or, does he have trouble remembering what he has written and what he hasn't? It seems he's caught up in the past, and the reason is Dresden. He still thinks about the present though: "And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep." (Slaughter House Five)

The first chapter doesn't mention the future that much. I guess the future is so scary, we prefer to look behind us. It's easier to stick to what you know, than to adapt to new changes. The first chapter captures this perfectly with the pillar of salt example: "But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. She was turned to a pillar of salt. So it goes. People aren't supposed to look back. I'm certainly not going to do it anymore. I've finished my war book now." (Slaughter House Five) It looks like he's finally ready to live in the present. This books seems to be the end of his past.