Punctiation Remains An Art :)

you’re born you live you die.

I Love, I Believe

Decisions. So many of them. One leads to another. Is it the right decision? Am I making a mistake?

I feel I should do this, but others think it's wrong. I feel I am making the right decision. I will write what I feel.

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Leaves of Grass

Poem Thirteen

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"I behold the picturesque giant, and love him- and I do not stop there;

I go with the team also."

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I love him. Just like I love the odorless atmosphere. I love him in the same way she loves the twenty something bathers. I love with passion, I love perfection. I love the unknown to me. I love tiny details.

I admire the expression of the oxen.

I believe in colors. I believe in purposes. I believe I am like the turkey-hen. "I am of old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise" (16) I am all nations, all genders, all ages. I am all. We are all.

I will always have myself. I will always have everything. I have everything without taking everything. "I breathe the air but have plenty after me, And am not stuck up, and am in my place (16).

There are many suns. Many suns I cannot see. I don't need to see them to believe they are there. I play music for the slain people. I believe in losing as much as I believe in winning. I believe in equality. The meal should be fairly distributed.

I do as I wish. I see myself in others. As I judge them, I judge myself.

I love myself. I am the most superior being. Who else can I pray to?

I accept reality. I understand things happen. I am not looking for an apology. "I see that the elementary laws never apologize (20).

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I believe in the moment. So many things going on. I pay attention to everything. I believe in myself. I am what I am. You may notice me, you may not. I'll be satisfied either way.

There's no death. Time is eternal.

All Part Of Time

Usually, when something happens in your life, you start to relate everything to it. My grandfather passed away last Sunday, so that's pretty much all I think about. It's so much information to process in so little time. I feel hypnotized. His death hasn't quite hit me yet, but I still feel his absence. As I'm thinking all of this, I'm reading Leaves of Grass. I know I have to focus. This poetry is so rich in content, it calls for my full attention. I stumble across a line: "What I know I like" (1), and then I realize that's what's been making me feel so empty.

Usually, the unknown is terrifying. When there's something in your life that has been there for a long time, regardless if it's good or bad, you will learn to like it.

A clear example of this is Clara Rojas. As she was being freed, she was hugging her abductors. Why would she hug the people who kidnapped her? It's now that I understand they became a big part of her life. They were what she knew and what she learned to like.

The same thing happens with my grandfather. I've lived with him for almost all my life and not having him around the house is something new to me. Something I obviously don't like.

Going back to Leaves of Grass, I really like how Whitman plays with time. First, he gives us the feeling that he is all knowing. He does so by using words like "shall" and "will be". "You shall possess the good of the earth and sun- (there are millions of suns left)" (2). Then, he mixes the past, present and future: "I have heard what the talkers were talking, the talk of the beginning and end; But I do not talk of the beginning or end" (3). When he says "beginning" he's referring to the past, as he talks about the "end", he's referring to the future and he himself is a clear example of the present. Pretty interesting. It gives the impression that the past, present and future are all the same. And coming to think of it, they are the same. Just as we in a sense, are the same too. The past, the present, the future, the ones who died, the ones who are still with us, they, we, are all part of time.

My Grandmother's Style

A typical conversation with my grandmother goes like this:

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"Hi grandma. How are you?"

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Usually, when you ask people how they are, their response is no longer than 5 words. My grandmother takes this question pretty seriously. After thinking about it for some time, she'll answer something like:

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"What can I tell you... I'm happy because I've been walking without a cane. But I do feel tired all the time. I've had a good week though. I saw my dear old friend Inesita. Inesita de Gonzalez. Poor Inesita, her husband Alberto is sick again. Do you want some cookies? I bought them yesterday. The cashier was so nice. Her name was Anita. Ohhh, I didn't tell you. Your cousin Anita is playing the flute. I never liked that instrument but I wasn’t going to tell her that...”

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She will go on and on, jumping from one topic to the next. After some time, you will not understand how she's able to connect so many things together. By the time you two stop talking (if she stops talking, that is), you will not remember what she was going to tell you in the first place. I love my grandmother, but if you're willing to have a conversation with her, you have to prepare yourself for several hours of boredom.

A Simple Soul, is similar to my grandmother. It starts talking about Madame Aubain’s life. Then it starts describing the rooms in the house. Before you know it, you’re reading about how “Her father, who was a mason, was killed by falling from a scaffolding” (PDF).

The difference between my grandmother and A Simple Soul, is that Flaubert is able to link topics successfully. His links are strong and logical. In fact, they are so successful, they become our eyes and mind inside the novel. Through his words, we are able to visualize what's going on, and understand why things happen, thanks to the links he makes.

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Confused?

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Think about walking to class. As you do, you look around, focus on details, and notice things you hadn't seen before. Your mind starts making connections, remembering past experiences, identifying new things. One memory takes you to another. Before you know it, you've created a chain of anecdotes, feelings, and different topics.

We do this all the time. Flaubert does it in his novel. It's a very risky thing to do. The reader may get lost and bored the way I do with my grandmother. Instead, every change of topic is like a wake up sign. It makes us alert. It triggers curiosity.

Where will he take us next?

From Actor To Lawyer

I've come to realize that jobs are easily stereotyped. I've always heard that when people don't know what they want, they study administration or go to law school. I've also heard that teaching is a job anyone can do. If you're a teacher or a lawyer or studied administration, don't take this personal. I'm just writing what I've seen and heard. The teacher thing really bothers me because both of my parents are teachers and from what I see, it's a tough job. Not many people could do it. Something really funny happened the other day. The members from my dad's side of the family are all lawyers, doctors and diplomats. We were in a family reunion and my aunt was talking about how my cousin was no longer with her boyfriend. We were all surprised because they had seriously been dating as far as I can remember. My mom asked her why they weren't together anymore and my aunt's response was something like this: "My daughter was going no where with that guy. She had just finished law school and he was a music teacher. Teacher?? What kind of job is that?" It was then when she realized my mom is a teacher. Then, everything was really awkward. As you can imagine, she tried fixing it by saying: "Oh, but you're a good teacher. You teach math which is hard, so you're okay." Whatever. There was no way she could fix it. Anyways, in chapter two of The Crying Of Lot 49, Oedipa meets Metzger, the lawyer. She thinks he's really good looking. So good looking, that "he had to be an actor" (PDF). He actually was an actor. "Some twenty-odd years ago, Metzger had been one of those child movie stars, preforming under the name of Baby Igor" (PDF). Everyone knows lawyers have to be very persuasive. They have to act confident and convince the judge they are right. Acting has a lot to do with this. I found a page on google, it looked like a course explaining what lawyers could learn from actors. (http://www.justice.org/resources/convenience_ACT.pdf) It's logo was: "all lawyers are actors or should be." One thing's for sure. Metzger would do really well in that course. After all, he was an actor and a lawyer.

Character Names

I'm intrigued by this book. I'm not sure what the author wants us to think. Should we try and look for symbolic details? Or should we take the novel lightly instead? The book's pretty short but it's obvious it's dense in content. It's like an orange. It may be small, but the juice inside it is a great amount. (Pretty lame comparison, I know.) Anyways, what really caught my attention about this chapter were the names. we have: Oedipa Maas, Pierce Inverarity, Wendel Maas "Mucho"and Dr. Hilarius. These four characters' names are particular because they are associated with words or other characters we already know. From the one we can deduce the most is Oedipa. I'll be trying to analyze the rest of the characters as the story develops.

The Spider And The Human

There once was a human and a spider. "Let's play a game," said the human. "Let's compete to see who the best inventor is." The human was very selfish and thought he was superior to the spider. "I'll play with one condition," replied the spider. "We'll decide who the best inventor is according to our genes." "Deal," said the human. He was sure he would win the game. "I'll start with something easy. I don't want to make the spider feel too bad," he thought. "I think I'm the greatest inventor here because my species figured out how to make fire." "Nice. But I think my genes are greater inventors because I don't need fire. My eyes are designed so I can see in the dark. I see you have glasses. According to that, you can't even see in daylight!" "Fine. Your eyes are better than mine. But what about my ability to hunt? My species has created amazing weapons. I can shoot a bird no matter how far away it is. As long as I see it with my eyes, I'll be able to hit it." "You poor human. We spiders have many effective ways of hunting too. We don't need a gun to hunt accurately. Some of us dig holes and cover them with dirt as traps. Others wait and catch bugs near by. There's also our web strategy which you're well aware of. Do you know how accurate we have to be? Do you know how fast bugs are? I believe in hunting, we aren't as bad as you think." "Yeah? Well try to beat this spider. We humans have created art masterpieces. We have amazing buildings, intelligent minds, and our kids go to school. I don't see you accomplishing any of these things." "First of all, my offspring don't need to go to school. Everything they need to know comes to them with time. Besides you're quite wrong. We spiders, are great in math, specially geometry. We spin delicate thread into webs; our greatest form of art. This is not only artistic and mathematic; we can move swiftly through the web and catch our food. I'm sorry human. I think I win." Idea from chapter thirteen of The Selfish Gene. Pages 238-9